This is not a comfortable topic for anyone because it requires us to turn inward, to begin to look with a more critical and objective eye at the things in our lives which are weighing us down, causing us to make bad decisions, literally impeding our progress and/or ability to achieve the life we dream of having.

It's easy to point an accusing finger to an external source, reason or "cause". That way we can blame anything and everything apart from ourselves for our failures in life, our inability to excel and grow into the life we dreamed of having once we were out on our own.

To be fair, in a few cases, external things will derail us. But these are things that are out of our control, things that happen in our lives which we could not predict, prepare for or anticipate, things that truly impact our ability to move forward.

The simplest example would be if you got into a car accident and shattered your arm. You will eventually heal, but you may never be able to play an instrument ever again - at least not at a level required for a career. Music then, by circumstances out of your control, becomes a recreational, personal endeavour for your own enjoyment. There are other examples like this, but you get the point I'm making.

All other situational occurences are things in which you materially participate; you have a say as to how much they will affect your life - and to what degree they will derail your plans in life. You are in control here. Placing blame upon external sources becomes an excuse or rationalisation for why you haven't succeeded. But the truth is very plain: you kept yourself - for whatever reason - from the success you desired. You and you alone.

Some would say that when we repeatedly fail to succeed, that perhaps we have a fear of success. We actually design failure into our efforts to succeed, all so we can then turn around and point fingers, assign blame and justify our sour attitude about life in general.

The irony in this may be that you may actually be quite a good husband, father, mother, wife, to your spouse and children.

It isn't that you utterly fail. You may be very good at your day job, and have that well in hand. But your dream job, the thing you really want to be, the occupation you strive after in the off hours, just doesn't seem to be any closer, never seems to get any traction, can't get out of the gate. Whatever metaphor you wish to employ, the end result is the same: you can't make any headway on your dream.

And it isn't for lack of trying, or investing time and money into that enterprise, both of which you've put into play.

Assuming for the sake of argument that you have the talent, the knowledge, some practical experience, and all that stuff that one needs to even have a chance at the potential for success in your dream field, these are no guarantee success will come, not in and of themselves.

I know people who should have succeeded. They had everything going for them. But they fell short.

Obstacles are a reality, regardless of the profession you seek. They will impede your progress, count on it. But it is how we respond to these road blocks and brick walls that will, to some degree, define our character and our temperament in our pursuit of the Dream.

The one trait common to all success stories is that everyone who succeeds refuses to give up. They refuse to quit or be deterred by the things that get in the way. And it includes making sacrifices - some of which we would rather not make.

Now this is going to sound really cruel, and on the surface of it, perhaps it is, but just the same, it needs to be said. I don't care how hard your life is, or has been. People have succeeded from far worse situations than your own. While your story may be tragic, it is not unique. Take solace in the fact that you are not alone in your suffering to this time.

People who have suffered severe hardship have gained strength from their circumstances, refusing to be defeated by them. Instead they gained motivation to escape the troubles, to rise above their condition, to overcome their hardships. So your circumstances, the "You don't know what I've been through...where I come from..." excuses are just that, excuses.

It had to be said. It may hurt to have it said to you, especially if you're in the middle of a tragic life. But the tragedy will last only as long as you allow it to last, and not one day longer. And the end of that tragedy begins with you deciding it ends today. It ends with you saying that you will not allow your circumstances to dictate that you will not succeed.

When you overcome such an impediment as this, and see that positive, forward thinking is what helps lay the foundation for success, coupled with hard work and a no quit attitude, then you will succeed. It may take far longer than you anticipated, and progress may be hard to see at first. But you have to determine that you are in control of how you respond to your suffering, your tragic life.

It's a little melodramatic, yes. But it gets the point across.

Remember this: today, you do not have it as bad as people a century ago. If you are a person of colour, your life is orders of magnitude better than your ancestors even just fifty years ago. In the United States, there is no excuse, such as racism and other related prejudices, that will prevent you from success if you truly want to succeed - regardless of the field you choose to pursue.

Proof of this is the Rappers who come out of South Central and Compton in LA. These are two of the most impoverished areas in America's major metropolitan landscape. I've lived in LA. I'm from New York. You can't tell me I don't understand. I do.

I have had my own impediments to success. I determined that these would not prevent me from what I want in life. So I have worked hard to keep them from interfering with my plans, my goals in life.

And I have failed more than I have succeeded. But it only takes continued effort and determination to learn from the failures to create the success that actually gets you on the way to the goal. I don't have to succeed five hundred times, having failed 499 times.

Some success arrives after many failures. And you can build on that success, even though there will be other failures up ahead. We learn from each time we fall flat, and we apply those lessons to the next step in the process of getting to the goal, the prize, the "promised land" of our dreams.

Impediments to success should make you stronger. As said earlier, assuming you have the talent and aptitude and all other things required to succeed, every impediment you encounter, every obstacle, pit fall, whatever stands in the way, should serve to help you learn, and so make you stronger, better prepared for the next challenge so you have the greatest opportunity to succeed and get past that challenge - to face each and every successive challenge that lies ahead.

And those challenges won't eventually go away. They may come fewer and further in between, and they will change over time, based on your level of success. But they will always come down the pike. The better you get at managing each challenge, each crisis, the better the likelihood of overcoming that challenge successfully.

Learn from everyone, and from everything, that comes down the road. Some will be easy lessons. Some will be "open book" lessons. Others will blind side you and knock you off balance. Learn from them. Grow because of them.

But never let your heart turn to stone. Never take your success for granted. Never believe the hype people put out there about how great you are. There is always going to be someone better. Knowing that will help you stay humble enough to recognise and even give support when that person comes along.

Who knows, they may even hold you as one of the reasons they got started in the first place. You may be a role model for them - even though they may be better than you in your chosen craft, in their heart and mind, you are a hero. Be the humble hero, be gracious, be thankful every day.

Because one day, if you attain the dream, it could all end in a heart beat.

That is how fleeting success is. So success in and of itself should never be taken for granted, assumed to be forever. It should never be comfortable to the degree that you forget where you came from.

There's an old saying in the business: Remember the people you passed on the way up to the top. They are the same people you'll pass on your way down. And depending upon how well or poorly you treated them, they will remember and treat you in kind on your way back down... maybe even more so, one way or the other.

Impediments are a fact of life. How we choose to embrace and face them will determine the kind of person we will choose to be as a result.

Choose wisely.